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Sunday, December 20, 2009

'Daswha'mtalkinbout.

Watching the Lord of the Rings extended edition movie trilogy, making sure my wife's third graders' cotton balls are glued onto snowmen and not each other, wrapping presents in Precious Moments paper, blasting Relient K's version of "Angels We Have Heard on High" and Bing Crosby's version of "Adestes Fideles," gazing in wonder at the a cajun-flavored version of the The Nutcracker ballet, a Sabbath day in God's presence without having to rush home to get ready for work/school the next day, watching The Nativity Story with my wife and putting up a nativity scene above the television, setting up a new computer and making hot cocoa for my wife asleep on the couch, who said she will wake up and play Star Wars Battlefront with me tonight or tomorrow.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Reflection

Reflection is now more important than ever, which is why there is the least time available for it. My reflection in the mirror reveals what I think I can no longer pretend to not be a gray hair or two (though I partly maintain it is a blonde streak from my early childhood years). Some would say it's the stress of what has been my toughest semester of law school, others that it is wisdom. I am agnostic. However, I have become more certain than ever that I am both an imperfect man and a man who will do whatever it takes to strive for excellence.

Halfway through law school, as I took my last final exam a couple days ago, all the motion stopped for a minute. And suddenly, though there are no more 15 hour workdays, I am more tired than ever. The Law Review paper is written, the classes complete, the ink pens and highlighters run dry. And I am finally conscious of the need for a time of refreshing.

I can take external pressure; it's a soul in travail that can't be lived with, like, I have heard, a ship tossed in the waves. It's not the external force of waters that will sink the vessel, but that which seeps in, through the cracks.

There is so much pressure to stay ranked first in class. However, I can find no joy in labor other than exertion to the fullest extent possible and rejoicing in toil irrespective of the fruit it bears.

The opportunities have changed, but the eternal macrocosm is immutable. The priorities must follow suit, for, to quote William Jay, "Oh that we estimated our souls as [H]e estimates them. Every thing else would appear less than nothing and vanity compared with their salvation."

That's all I have to say for now.

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