Facing Changes

On August 18th, I will move into West Laville Hall at Louisiana State University. That's a Wednesday. The following Monday, the 23rd, classes will start. This means I have just over two weeks till I'm at my home away from home...

...for the first time in my life actually on my own. A bit scary...yet exciting. Hard to describe the feeling...

It's happening faster than I ever realized it would...but life is like that I suppose. You're never totally ready for anything. Just like combat. You can ask any soldier who's never had to take another man's life, "Would you be able to do it?" He would like to tell you he'd be able to perform his job without hesitation...but he can't be sure till that sweaty combat moment. Maybe an odd comparison...but I'm often told I'm full of those...odd comparisons. Anyhow...

I have 4 wonderful grandparents still living...and God has used the awesomely to get me toiletries, personal hygiene stuff, money, and food supplies for college...and of course my wonderful parents...I'll be taking this little Dell notebook computer, a printer/scanner...just pray with me that this little computer will start working correctly again before I take it to college. Apparently one class I have, ISDS, will require use of this computer on an almost everyday basis...

You may know that I'm blessed to have my tuition, room & board, and some most fees covered by scholarships. Christ Jesus gets all the credit for that, of course. Furthermore, I've saved up some spending money for myself and for food, supplies, etc...while I'm at college. I will have an on-campus job...but I probably won't have more than like 10 hours per week...I'll need every minute for study and getting used to the college environment I think.

And this money I saved from my job...it's just nice to have a job. To buy milkshakes at Sonic, CDs, ... just got my mom a watch...actually I never got her anything for Mother's Day months ago...because I had no money...she said "your love is enough Josh", but I wanted to do this...and money has wings. Always remember that...doesn't go far.

This guy who comes through my line at Sav a Center sometimes once told me..."Josh, you see all this stuff I'm buying, man? This is just a small shopping trip...and you see how much it costs? [It cost about 250 dollars and he had a wife and 3 daughters.] You don't want some joke of a job...you're going to need a well-paying job to support your family, man. Remember that."

And I do think about that a lot. I don't want my wife and kids to have to just get by. I guess that means not only do I need to work hard...I need to learn to rely on God right now...because after all, I know so many hard-working, well-meaning husbands who just about kill themselves working for wife and kids but can't seem to make it. If my ways please the Lord, though, I know I'll always have enough to provide for my family.

And I don't know if my wife will want to work...if she wants to, fine. But I want to have enough to where if it's her desire, she can stay home with the kids. Really, I hope she's predisposed to wanting to stay home and watch the kids rather than having a job. I want her to be there to nurture our children. That's how it's been in my household...my dad said, "I wouldn't have had it any other way." My mom has been grateful, too.

I wonder where my wife is.

Be right back...I need to pray for her.
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Back.
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I wonder if she's at LSU...or across the country...or on the far side of the world...

God knows, I'm expecting that He is keeping her pure for me...I've sacrificed in my youth. Believe it or not, and at the risk of seeming weird, I have never kissed a girl romantically. Needless to say I've also never had sex with a girl...I did not date in high school. I have preserved all that and saved it until I find someone truly prospective. I haven't wasted the love Christ invested in me...I didn't sow my emotions to the wind and get tied up and wrapped around the hearstrings of a bunch of chicks. Babe, when I find you, it's gonna be hot and spicy love...because I won't have any memories of any others. **Lord, please let it be the same for her...preserve her and keep her focused on You**...

Tomorrow I'm going shopping. My parents said, "Look, we want you to contribute some to the stuff you'll need for college with the money you've earned this summer." Uh-huh, and I know the contribution I want to make...

...clothing ;)

That way, I meet my "fashion" needs and I pay part of the cost. What a bargain.

I'm going to miss working at Sav a Center...*sigh*, in a slightly demented way, I'm going to miss the customer service shift they had me work once or twice a week. I know. Strange...okay, so I won't really miss customer service THAT much. ;)

My 1989 Buick's in the shop awaiting some costly repair work. My parents decided it's in my best interest to send me w/o a car first semester so that I can "adjust." True, I'll have enough on my plate dealing with rigorous studies, living on my own, dealing with all kinds of new social pressures and outings...etc. Anyhow, I have 2 cousins at LSU, and I can easily get transportation...I think I know the church God wants me to attend...I'll have to see...and there are plenty of Christian groups on campus I can hook up with...

Got my microwave and fridge...Mom's going to get me some bedding...

Gee, I'm excited about the independence...but why am I so nervous about the responsibility?