Thugz 4 Life

thanks to Andrea Sinneave for this tru-thug moment

Futility

I put my hand to the plow of mixed emotions

The causeless causes my heart goes to misplace my devotion

To say I’ll live and die for nothing would cause a commotion

But what else can this be christened when I’m running through motions

If providence never smiled upon this venture

I’ve wasted love labors on disappointing adventures

Reality’s inevitability is the suspension

Of all my carefully crafted and contrived intentions

-Bean, 7/25/04

The Window to the Soul

Your eyeballs are weird. Granted mine are, too.

What, you don't believe me? Go look in the mirror and look at one of your eyes and consider it as separate from the rest of your face. Just like any part of the human body considered on its own, the eye is a strange convention.

Yet we attach ultimate significance to a pair of eyes in creating a human being. What part of a person's face do you look into when you speak to him or her? Eyes are apparently both a very public and a very personal thing. When you want to confront somone and let people know you are engaged in serious communication with them, you look into the eyes. And yet, it is considered normal human etiquette to not look into someone's eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. (Look into someone's eyes too long and you'll either really freak them out or give them the idea you are in love with them.) As a matter of fact, some individuals have trouble maintaining eye contact when speaking to other people because they find it such an intense and somehow intimidating experience. Through maintaining eye contact, people every day communicate more intimately than they care to think.

There are more song lyrics and poetry having to do with the eyes than any other part of the human face or body. The iris of the eye is composed of hundreds of thousands of nerve endings connected by impulses to every body tissue through the brain and nervous system. The eye is known as "the window to the soul." People can usually fairly accurately judge human emotions and attitudes by appraising another's eyes. Matthew 6:22-23 says, "The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!" Song of Solomon refers to one glance from a lover "ravishing [the] heart." (Solomon 4:9).

When we maintain eye contact with people, are we looking for something we haven't found within the realm of the tangible and the temporal? The human body, in all its marvelous heavenly construction, does not reveal heart and soul. Can I really see a person's soul in his or her eyes? Am I looking for God? For those who are agnostic, am I looking for something metaphysical, for a hint and a glance of an existence that is more than human emotions explained away by hormone levels?

If I gazed into the eyes of Jesus what would I see? I think what I would see would kill me. The luminosity, the burning, the intensity, the mosaic of existence summed up in one glance. The unquenchable anger, the relentless love, the all-knowing gaze. The story of eternity, boundless in all directions. I believe I would see myself. I'd see the whole human race, the heavenly hosts, the hordes of hell, the highest mountains, the deepest valleys, the cross and the empty tomb. Everything that ever existed coming at me. He Who is Existence Itself ripping me to shreds, looking at me, yet looking straight through me, beholding only I, yet beholding all. Loving only me, yet loving all humanity in one instant. One instant, one interminable split-second, which never had a beginning and is too real and true to ever end. " For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth" (II Chronicles 6:9).

Eyes are amazing because you don't just see the soul of the other person. You can even see yourself.

If you ever find yourself in love, or rather, love finds you, remember this one thing. As you gaze into those irises, keep your eyes wide open. The longer and harder you gaze, the more you see. The more you see the more you love. The more you love, the more you see. Look closely and you will see your own reflection. (I speak from experience,) the more you see, the more you love, .....the more you see yourself being loved. A union of souls.

Look at Me Being Serious!

Raging Ryan.

I hadn't updated in a week, and someone pointed this out to me. So here's a video.

In this video, a harmless prank on the USC Student Body Vice President goes horribly wrong...

There's not much to say other than this poor guy was just in a bad mood.

Be warned, there is brief strong profanity, if you are a sensitive viewer.

"This is not a joke, this is NOT a joke. Look at me being serious!" I can tell that last line is ALREADY a household joke among me and my friends that have seen this. Classic.

A Declaration of War Most Irrevocable

I danced all night with the truth

And though I was close to her all night

I’m a distant galaxy away from

Having her for my own

My heart beat fast with every word

Hanging onto the anger in your eyes

Maybe this is the cause, unveil the revolution

And if not I’ll drown my sorrows

Or else trade them tonight

You and I, how we burn

We burn for You!

Does our triumph lie in this?

Such anger and fury

That gives me strength godlike

The power of a cause intoxicating

I may be drunken with this vendetta

Though it’s rightness pulsates still

Beating with words of fire and glory

And though in shadow this land dissolves

This world and its elements melted

In a fervent heat my fears forged

And though our swords be dipped in foe-blood

I’ve been a lover with one truth

And love will guide my feet

Across this delicate dance floor

As I hear the war drums slowing

She burns my cheek with kisses

And my ear with whispered promises

Of a most certain armistice.

-Bean, 4/21/06.

I Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

"The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it."

-Galadriel in The Fellowship of the Ring

Spring Break in Pensacola, Florida (for a day)

Spring Break Photos

My poor, poor blog. I apologize to you for uploading so many photos. But don't kill me please...I'm been a very VERY happy man these past few days, being with my loved ones. [As the following images relate...]













































To be continued.