Dream Conference

A couple of my friends and I discussed some dreams we've been having...

3rd Place, Me, A Rumor of War: All the sudden I was told I was right in the middle of a war. No one could tell me what the opposing sides were or what they were fighting for. I was just given a rifle and told to fight. My immediate thought became the desire to just stay alive, which also made me feel cowardly. I remember pressing forward slowly over the battlefield, which looked like southern Louisiana. I fired my gun a few times, missing every time. Apparently there were only six bullets, and then I was SOL because I didn't have any reloading capability. I saw Valerie Mautz at one point in my dream, and I asked her how the war was going. Her response was something along the lines of, "It's a war, need I say more?" After we won that battle, we prepared for a sea invasion. I told an officer I needed a new weapon, so he told me to go look for one in the garage of a residential neighborhood. I got one, but the "supply" was already picked over, so my gun was pitiful, and it too only had 4-6 bullets. I asked someone where extra ammo was. He told me we would resupply ourselves with ammunition we took from the enemy as we pressed forward. I thought, "Well this sounds like a suicide run." When we invaded, I waded ashore and got 2 kills before I ran out of ammo again, hid behind an obstacle, and the dream ended."

2nd Place, Jacob Benda, Kid Anti-Christ: Jacob and his cousins and sisters were having a secret meeting and it came to their attention that the Anti-Christ was out and on the loose...and had been positively identified as a little skinny blonde-headed girl. "She's at the playground," someone said. So they went to the playground and began to try and assasinate her with knives and other sharp objects. But she was a tough little 5-year-old and good with a knife herself. Jacob cornered her at the kiddie slide and tried to stick it to her but missed and so she called his leg "the good samaritan" and stabbed him in the thigh. He inflicted a few wounds on her but she repeatedly drove the knife into his arm. I can't remember the rest of it.

1st Place, Danny Hotard, Professors Gone Wild: Danny was in his math class, and the professor was preparing to hand back graded tests. But he said he was only going to hand out half the test on that particular day. So he literally cut the tests in half...with a chainsaw. Then he added with a thoughtful glance around the room, that since the future plans for the LSU campus called for the demolition of Lockett Hall, they would go ahead and cut it in half, just like the tests. So Danny tried to duck the falling stairwells as his professor proceeded to drive a massive tractor with a Statue-of-Liberty-sized chainsaw attached to the front. And Lockett was cut in half.