Better Days

Well, I'm not sick anymore, so that's good. I still can't seem to make friends with my bed, though, so I'm still living the sleep-deprived life. This weekend was good. Several good things were realized. We finally started this accounting project due Thursday. I just made an appointment to get these stitches removed from my leg tomorrow. I noticed that when someone loves you, they walk up to you and sit next to you, grabbing your hand, reassuredly silent. My heart trembled once again at hearing the Word of God Sunday morning and I came closer to God moistening my dry eyes with passion. I'm happier and more depressed than ever before in my life. It's a terrible, beautiful age to live in...in terms of number of years on earth and the period in history I find myself in.

I came one step closer to knowing the frailty of life. At the LSU football game Saturday night, a good friend of mine two rows down had a convulsive seizure. Amanda and I rushed to the hospital together. As we talked to him, pretty soon he was conscious and being his usually comical self. Waiting for his parents to arrive, I felt both relieved and terrified at what had just occurred. Yet as I had prayed on the way to the hospital, God had reassured me he would be fine.

This was the second week in a row Amanda and I ended up in a hospital on Saturday night! Why is this happening. As we knelt and prayed last night, we sought God to find out why so many things are happening. The only answer I have right now is one that's actually encouraging, if I'm right. Satan is trying to wear out the saints of God. I seriously was under a demonic thought attack once last week trying to study, having crazy thoughts and feelings. You know, the kind you would never repeat to another living soul. As I walked across campus and praised God, the feelings lifted immediately. We have to realize there is an evil presence that indeed wants to wear us out. Worn out by aggravation, distrust, disgust, apathy, heartache. I think the earth is getting worn thin, too. It cannot bear the weight of sin inflicted upon it by humanity.

I can do no more and no less than love who and what God has entrusted to me. God help me. This is all I can do.

Please, Lord. Grant us better days...