Uncool

For some strange reason, I have absorbed a new phrase into my vocabulary since last Wednesday when I moved here.

When I'm chatting to my roomate or someone in Highland...such and such is just "NOT cool."

Therefore, I will attempt to provide a list of some not cool stuff that has come to my attention recently:

• There's a TV commercial that begins with this woman talking, while her husband is reading the paper in the background. She is "having trouble maintaining their relationship." What can she do? She whips out some miracle gel that promotes "greater intimacy." As soon as she describes the product, her husband loses his disinterested look, puts aside the paper, and looks at his wife. In other words, this woman is (pardon the blountness), leading her husband around by his...no, not his hand. What is uncool about this is the use of sex by females to manipulate men and men's stupidity in being so easily manipulated. What's even more uncool is that they're going through this charade while I'm trying to watch television (which is a fruitless endeavor anyway).
• Vulgarity and lack of creativity. Yeah, I never knew they had anything in common either. Until I noticed in our hall bath the vandalism...the writing all over the stalls. What is the most uncool is that the "f-word" was the most common writing there...and it had been reproduced many many times in a thoughtless manner. If you're going to vandalize (not that you should), try something a little more creative than a four-letter piece of substandard English that makes you sound as unintelligent as the the flushing of the commode you are sitting on while writing these obscenities.
• The repetitive bass guitar in between scenes on Seinfeld. Don't get me wrong...it has its funny moments. But this bass thing is uncool...it's just aggravating.
• Here's one of the top uncool things of all time. Being a zombie. Staying up late and then walking around like the living dead the next day I have learned (over a long and arduous process known as my teenage years) is one of the dumbest things we've ever done, people.
• Having ants crawl all over your computer and you don't know where they're coming from. What's even weirder is when they come and go at different times.
• Waiting so long to visit the laundromat in the base floor of the dorm and having such a big stack of undone laundry...that much to your dismay, you discover you're almost out of clean underwear. You realize this is not your ordinary problem. In fact, it will be harder to solve than the Calculus problem stumping you as a result of your falling asleep in class when Professor Gizmo showed you the class how at the 7:30 a.m. class.
• Listening through headphones that have the padded part gone.
• Getting out of bed in the morning.
• Alarm clocks.
• Staying in your dorm room too long. (You begin to have hair shoot out from your eyeball.)
• Being out of God's will.

More later, perhaps.

Until then, stay cool.