The 3P Absurdities

Life is full of absurdities. I will only enumerate 3 of them in this post: people, parking, and philosophy.

1. PEOPLE. Have you ever just listened in on what people are saying as you traverse about the planet Earth? I started to recently and obtained the following results in a most scientific study:

Girl1: So are you and [Billy] back together?
Girl2: No, we're starting all over again.
My conclusion-->So wait a second. You're going out with Billy but you're not going out with Billy. Oh, I see. You're starting all over again. So you're going out with Billy but you changed his name to Billygoat.

Guy1: Uh-huh, yeah...
Guy2: And so, man, we were drinking a bottle of Jim Bean and we just threw it out the truck window!
My conclusion-->We'll get back with you on this one.



Timothee: Close your eyes, I've got a surprise for you.
Josh: Please let it be Mario [in jest].
My conclusion-->How lame I must be, for it turned out to be a Super Mario figurine attached to a parachute.



2. PARKING. Alright. Tell me it's not absurd that I had to drive around for 30 MINUTES on LSU's campus looking for a parking space last night. I saw the same cop car making the rounds like 15 times and was afraid he might pull me over to see if I was joyriding or something.

3. PHILOSOPHY. So I'm supposed to live my life in dedication to beholding and living for the Good. Okay, wait, forget the whole "living for" the Good part, as I'm always thinking and never doing anything. Hmm, just like my friend here, who's made out of stone:



NOW. Here's a 4th P that is absurd, but is really the only thing that really makes sense to me. It is...the PYTHON.

Oh mercy me! What to do?

Spring Break is over and I must do university course work again!

The Color Red

I wore out my Vans, folks. They were a good pair of shoes, until the back ends started ripping apart from being worn every day of my life for 2/3 of a year. As I browsed the racks at Shoe Carnival, I found a new love interest. Say hello to the New and Revised Bean: Red Chuck Taylor Converse All-Star High Tops. Just like Will Smith says in I-robot: "Vintage 2004, baby!", except this is obviously vintage 2005. Glory.  

Walaa

When I took this picture, I had in mind something like, "Ooh, this shoe's so delicious, I'd put mustard and mayonnaise and catsup on it and eat it for supper..."
but it turned out looking like I'm going to lay a big wet kiss on the shoes. Honestly the picture is weirdly unlike me, but that's why I had to post it as an oddity for your consumption or rather, repulsion. G'day. Oh, and just because I got a hair trim to make mom a little happy over Spring Break doesn't mean the hair's not coming back in full force soon. As you can see, that back end of the head is getting it's groove on., 

And the Truck Cometh to a Screeching Halt.

While reading Dan Hames' blog for the first time in ages, I had one of those moments described by the narrator in the movie "Fight Club," where Edward Norton discovers he has been talking to an imaginary alter-ego for the entire movie and says something like, "WE HAVE JUST SUFFERED A LOST CONNECTION. LADIES AND GENTLEMENT PLEASE RETURN YOUR SEATS TO THEIR LOCKED AND UPRIGHT POSITION."

Oh my God. Okay. So I knew my good friend John Collins and his mom Cindy Collins (one of my spiritual mentors, awesome woman of God) have been in Israel, as Mrs. Cindy has been speaking at a Pro-Life convention. As I'm reading Dan's many posts about being in Israel, I get intrigued thinking, "Hmm, that's cool. John's in Israel right now, too..."

And then I see...no couldn't be. John, one of "Dan's new friends made in Israel" or something. He is pictured second from the left above.

Patrick Holly

Several other blogger friends of mine have started a little tradition of doing posts about their friends, and I join them in this new tradition, in celebration of Patrick finally uploading a picture onto his Facebook profile.

I told Patrick this when we met last semester. He is the best friend I've had. When I was a wandering freshman at LSU last semester, on my second day there, he immediately befriended me and began to mentor me in the ways of Jesus the Christ. The first thing I realized about Pat was his intensity. To the point of being overwhelming, Pat is a man for this hour, always in season, ready to shoot you straight any day. Painfully honest, he has been to me what a true friend and mentor should. He's helped me through some low points and encouraged me. More so, he has challenged me and unveiled a new intellectual side to faith, a viable level of thought that overcomes pseudo-intellectualism I've seen attempted by some Christians. Even in his stunning philosophical nature, he always returns to the simplicity of phrases like: "Honor God!" God has endowed him with a common sense approach to life; he has natural insight that makes even lunch discussions meaningful.

Patrick will be enrolled in LSU Law School this fall, after of course graduating with a degree in Political Science this May. He will be married to the love of his life, Mica Spence, this June. As President of Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship, he will be greatly missed, but his energy and passion are needed in the legal field. A Christian lawyer. And if there is one thing you should know about Pat, it is this: he WILL fight for what is right. He will chew up and spit out (if there's anything left) what is ungodly.

This post was partially inspired by the fact that he put a plug for my blog on his Facebook profile. (ha ha ha)

Sincerely, I love you man and cannot thank you enough for your friendship.

Oh yeah, and he's working on his thesis right now, which promises to be a smash-up. I can attest to this as I've talked to him about it and he's working non-stop.

(Raises glass.) Here's to your marriage and me finding MY WOMAN soon to help keep me in line. And like Timothee says, for goodness' sake, I need a girl to keep me from being goofy...and help me remember things!!

Meet Matt

To the Sandbar!

Spring Break. Laguna Beach, Panama City, Florida, USA. Saturday through Tuesday. 8 people from LSU Chi Alpha. Good times.

Special thanks to several people. Mr. Robert Hoch for for keeping me constantly doubled over from laughter. Mr. James Dill for inspiring me and providing an enlightening midnight talk/walk on the beach. Mr. Zach Mitchell for busting his butt to make sure we all had a good time. Casey, 'Recka, Kaylee, Lionel, you're great friends, too, so I'll catch you with individual comments later. Rain check on that.

The majority of our time, needless to say, was spent tearing up the beach...or being torn up by it. The ultimate attraction for a couple of us was definitely the water. The ocean...the freezing cold ocean. I've never attempted to swim at the beach at this time of year. My first thought getting into that water was, "It would suck to get frostbite at spring break." (Just kidding, that was extreme. I did think it, though.)

The zenith of excitement was today. It was a red-flag day. For those of you who don't know what that means...it is the highest level (below crazy wacked-out storm status) of wind/waves. It is the "SWIM AT YOUR OWN RISK" kind of sea-condition. Today, we were the only people on the beach that ventured out past the shoreline. The waves were wicked crazy psychotic. AND FUN. The kind that topple you over and you can bodysurf with and that make you yell from ecstasy. Crazy Robert, Casey and I actually swam against the waves to a sandbar a little further out. Once we got to that sandbar the waves were just...aw man. Crazy. And that water was COLD!

Getting buried in sand was also fun, then they made some huge biceps out of sand, projecting from my side. I can't wait to see the pictures from the trip.

Also we saw several movies while we were relaxing at night. I must recommend "Man on Fire," with Denzel Washington. Definitely one of the best movies I've seen this year. Very intense, let me warn you. It's rough, but if you can handle it, it's quite a smash-up.

Oh, and walks on the beach with the surf rushing over your toes and the landscape bathed in moonlight is inspiring.

Prelude to White Sands

Beach Bound

Leaving at 8:30 Saturday (today) and coming back Tuesday. Hitting up the Florida beach, baby. Serious relaxation lies ahead.

Numbers 23:10b

Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!

Welcome to Me

[THE BEAN EATS]
Josh: Mmm. Beef and corn. Delicious dish. What do you call it?
Zeke: Um, we usually call it...TACOS.

[THE BEAN NAVIGATES]
Josh: Um, take that one. No, that one! I-59 South!
Timothee: There is no I-59 South. Didn't you LIVE here?!

[THE BEAN SOCIALIZES WITH THE LADIES AT A FINE MEXICAN RESTAURANT]
Josh: Michelle, you've got my check, right?

Josh: Hey you guys, it was so awesome! (Just coming back from the bathroom).
(((odd stares ensue)
Josh: I mean, when you walk into the bathroom there are these stringy long bead things for a door that you well walk through...

Josh: Who wants one of the cherries from my Roy Rogers?

___

The cherries one gets the chicks all the time, by the way.
___

[THE BEAN PLAYS VIDEO GAMES ((ANCIENT ONES, AT THAT)) )
Josh: ARGH!!
Zeke: Ok, Josh is you die on Mario one more time, we're kicking you out.

[THE BEAN USETH PUNS]
Josh: (a slew of puns)
Timothee: One more pun and I'm going to schmack you.
Josh: Don't you mean PUNish me?

Kick in the pants

I am my own kick in the pants at times. I accomplished loads of great stuff today.

• In Highland cafeteria, I joined a table and tried to display a dry sense of humour. I ended up sounding like a pseudo-intellectual idiot, which did make people laugh...at me. Of course, Patrick was impressed that me and two guys "got so many girls to sit at the table with us." Unfortunately the girls heard the comment and pointed out the fact that I was the last to join the table actually.
• Upon hearing that Super Mario Bros. shirts are sold at Hot Topic at "the mall," I take off to the Mall of Louisiana at Bluebonnet, walk around, and eventually ask the front desk where this particular store is. They inform me it's at a different mall. I have to head back to campus Mario-less because I have a cafe meeting.
• After parking and walking fast to get to the meeting on time, Zeke and Lionel are in the back of a pickup truck and whiz by. They wave. You don't wave at a guy walking unless you're gonna offer him a ride, especially if you've got a pickup. So I run down the middle of the street yelling and flailing my arms that I want a ride!!! Robert does a bat turn and picks me up and I hop into the cargo area. That's the way to get transportation, baby. And speaking of a kick in the pants, that driver sure gave us one. I'm not gonna lie, we were flying down that road.
• At the missions meeting, Kristin HAD to blow the lid of secrecy off of something. She pointed out I was wearing a Nike athletic shirt with dress pants. "Hey, I haven't been able to do laundry!"
• When Timothee drove me back, he stopped in front of the dorm to let me out. I see a crowd of people standing nearby, and I see them looking at the car. So I jump out and say, "GET IN!! (the car)". To my surprise and Timothee's aghastness, two chicks actually go to hopin the backseat and ask for a ride to the Tiger Bar. I had to explain I was only joking, whilst they offered 25 dollars for a ride to the bar. Timothee loved me loaning his car out to people.
• I made a run to coffee call. To study. What a gig. 12:30 a.m. People playing LOTR Risk inside and other oddities. Some random blokes come in and I strike up a conversation, and one random girl comes up and apologizes for how ugly she looks since she just got off work. Some older lady showing a picture of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh to a janitor cleaning up, and them laughing about the ribbon decorating Eeyore's buttocks. All while, as I discovered when I left, the older lady's husband was in the car outside, with the engine on, sound asleep, burning all the gas in his car. I didn't go back inside to tell anyone. I figured, "These folks don't need to be driving around late at night, so never mind if the dude burns the gas up."
• I get back to the dorm on my way to study some more and end up talking about abstinence, Christianity, the ascent to the divine, pluralism, and other great stuff with a girl who recently jokingly approached me in the lobby with a prophylactic.

If you aren't laughing, you aren't thinking about your life that hard. When I think about life and stuff like this that happened today, it makes me realize we all need to ask each other a modified form of the old McDonald's slogan: "Have you had your kick in the pants today?"

Chicks and Computers

What's the link? You can't live with them and you can't live without them.

I had just typed an enlightening post on Anselm's Proslogion but the computer deleted it.

Just like women, the realm of how a computer thinks and at times acts like an idiot...will never be understood.

An Oddity

Late last night (or early this morning) I drove back from hanging and trying to study at Zeke and Timothee's apt. One thing I have learned in college. Do NOT study with friends. You will have too much of a good time. And the nature of studying is to be the antithesis of pleasure. Tonight, I must stay in my room to complete my accounting cycle project. The whole study thing is still problematic though. The ability to study in different locations can be arranged in a sort of Platonic model, just like the ascent of the forms or states of being, i.e.:
DORM ROOM. Worst place to study overall. Quiet usually but contains the extreme temptation to eat, sleep, surf the web, and do anything but be focused on work.
DORM LOBBY. A little better. Not quiet, but somehow a more focused place for me. Problem: conversation and even more distractions.
FRIENDS' PLACES. Seemingly better. Off campus and a good "I'm getting away to study notion." The problem is it is just that: a notion.

Anyhow, the oddity is not that little diatribe I just set forth. The oddity is that when my parking directly behind the residence hall resulted in a parking ticket, which greeted me this afternoon. It's only $10. I just found it weird that I got in trouble for parking where I live. That's LSU parking, though.

Modern Rock Weekly

This week's rock heroes are Anberlin with "Paperthin Hymn" and Further Seems Forever with "Hide Nothing."


ANBERLIN, "Paperthin Hymn" ...Who's gonna call on Sunday morning? Who's gonna drive you home? I just want one more chance to put my arms in fragile hands! I thought you said forever over and over. A sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion! These thoughts run through my head over and over. Complaints of violins become my only friends. Written after the death of the singer's grandmother. Award for true emo-appeal that grips the heartstrings. After listening to the song, you feel like you are the one with the lost relative. I can't get enough of this song. Find a friend who'll let you listen to this song.


FURTHER SEEMS FOREVER, "Hide Nothing" We live and we learn and we crash and we burn and we're gone. We take what we know and we learn as we go and we run." Thoughtful lyrics, driving song, great rockability. Ethereal sound. Props to FSF for the complexity of their sound and their new vocalist.

Oh, Silly Me

Sunday night I resumed an ancient tradition, that of the all-nighter. I had to finish a paper on St. Augustine's Confessions and write and learn an informative speech on music media. I was up all night, catching a 30-minute snooze before class, with a 2-hour nap in the evening, only to be up again most of the night Monday.
Only Monday the reason was not studiousness. I brought Boethius' Consolation of Philosophy into the East Laville Lobby. I had noticed these guys had a vintage NES gaming system and were playing The Best Video Game of All Time. I thought, "well, I'll just read my book off and on while I watch these guys play." But then I started talking to them, and they were getting closer and closer to beating the game, when a dude left a vacant spot, I grabbed the controller and played the last few levels. I now had a choice. I could go be a wuss and listen to Boethius complain about society or save the world and PLAY THROUGH ALL OF SUPER MARIO 3, which I never had done before. I mean, heck, I'd warped to World 8 and beaten King Koopa Stoopid, but I'd never gone all the way through. So from 12 midnight till almost 5 a.m., that is what I did. Different people passed through and took the role of player 2, but I remained, till the last lonely World 8. I kicked butt ... and Bowser. Unfortunately, no one else was in the lobby at 5 a.m. to share in my triumph. I promptly returned to the Consolation of Philosophy with a bit of an "ahem" attitude, to get 2 more hours of sleep. Okay, so I'll finally sleep tonight and it shall be sweet. But if you guys get the chance to play vintage Nintendo with friends, I daresay philosophising can wait.